Well nothing much to say, life is again stand still this is what I am feeling. Financials things are fine earning decent enough to take care of things, well that's not what is important for me it is leading life which is been missing, yes these days just by spending time I am earning no slogging just get up go to office and be back to loneliness.
There has been no breakthrough in career wise that's what I am thinking, its been same mundane life, one good thing doing nothing is what I am earning, this is something I wanted where in I just don't do anything but still earning enough which makes me 1% of India's earning segment, but this is not what I wanted is what I realised after reaching this place for which every professional aspires.
At this juncture of life its all about satisfaction of growing up to big league which has not happened ever after reaching 50, but still hope is alive hoping for a big breakthrough, been running around aspiring to be part of BIG4.
Feeling hollowness, yeah you may think I am acting too smart as earning what just 1% of India's population earns is what I am earning but hollowness and thirst isn't getting quenched, sometimes I feel that what was my goal that was just keeping the journey and clearing one after another milestone is what I am feeling know as don't know what to do.
Everyday I keep waiting for something to happen something to change but nothing is changing, everyone around me is happy as I am taking care of things, some even say all the years of hardworking is paying off and I am just sitting and comeback I think I have landed in soft corner which something I dreaded the most.
Sometimes have reached too early and there isn't anything left know to move on getting sick of it, it was dream to become what I am today when is started 5N, I use to slog day in and day out to earn what I am earning today by doing nothing.
Hoping this mundane life will get chance to move or direction in which I need to move forward, let me admit first time missing life too badly. Well will figure out ways agains but for know its been mundane life but happy with it as everyone around is happy except myself.
Lot of people slog 18hrs of day in big corporates to earn the figures I earn just sitting, but i feel as long as you are taking care of your responsibilities but inner self keeps asking what are you doing.
Hope by next 5 years will be in board of directors for at least 5 companies hope it happens, literally have stopped learning and experimenting as due to responsibilities I fear for any change which is something which I have been playing but know at this juncture unable to do it.
Anyways no complains from life
