All alone I think I was designed this way

 Just becoming bit nostalgic going down the lane, right from 43 years back when I was 7 yr old kid both my mon and dad left me for my mother doctor checkup and I was alone in house and lights went off sitting all alone in dark and deserted area which it was in those days sitting alone and moment of wind causing bone chilling sound and with lizard squeaking out, I was in tears that is the day when I faced loneliness and from that day have been all alone.

I always believe in one proverb a gazelle has to run faster than cheetah to see next day sunlight,a cheetah has to run faster than gazelle to live another day been in this situation since last 43 years, today being 50 its all the same every day have to hunt and keep hunger away, the best part is you are held responsible for actions which happen which is not under your control.

No one looks at the pain you undergo as pleasure and every one looks at pleasure which they see on my face, sometimes feel just need to hang my boots, but can't do it, for my birth I was not responsible and the whole of life has been like that, I was not responsible for any one's action but still I get hanged.

Going through doldrums but still need to get up everyday and fight for the day with hope of tomorrow, it may sound very dramatic but that's life we all have colors on our face and mask's and inner face is something which no one wants to know.

Can keep writing millions of words but it will still not describe what I am going through, have got used to this life of loneliness times I feel this is my world where I am responsible for every one's life and there expectations

Words cannot describe what I go through but I still feel what I am going through is just minuscule when I see other around me going through.

Just having laugh at myself as my own inner conscious is saying you are having a different colour and mask today.

History Repeats after 29 years

 29 years back I remember me giving my first salary to my dad I was 19 years at that time, well history has repeated after 3 decades when my son got his first pay cheque on 14th June 2023, my first salary was 1020 rs in 1994 and my son got 12,000 which is like 11.5 times higher that what I got, well happy for one more reason is that my dream to see my son in my shoes is happening, he calculates same way as I calculate, we both have become buddies than father and son.

next 5 years will be crucial for both of us hope things will be fine, just un able to sleep as thinking of seeing my son heading 5NBC

Next line getting ready for 5NBC

 May 2nd marked a special day in my life and in the life of 5NBC, the next generation of 5NBC is shaping up, yes that's the good news, well its my son Naif Ahmed who is going to be next generation to take care of 5NBC. Though he has been earning and studying a new leap happened when he joined chartered accounting firm in jayanagar as intern and he will be there for next 5 years till he comes out as a Chartered Accountant to take on the reins of 5NBC to next levels.

As a father I am happy that my son is slowly stepping into my shoes, he wants to be a investment banker something I missed, I am putting in all my experience and my information to him so that when steps into the shoes he is at least 10 years ahead of me.

He will be studying in evening college and morning working with chartered accountant so he gets both the book knowledge and the practicality which is missing these days in the graduates who pass out with degrees in hand, he did his 11th and 12th working and studying which reminded me of my old days where in I never had the luxury of just studying which I always envied but today I feel all happened was for good, he is slowly maturing into good professional.

Hence I am building his platform in Dubai, so that in next 5 years when he finishes his graduation and becomes CA I would have build a platform for him in Dubai, happy to see him calculate everything on numbers and numbers.

So buy the time he is done studying 5NBC would have been 18 years old company so the platform is ready for next generation to enter and take it to next levels.

Going on Good back to building from Zero

 Well things are shaping up well again started building again from zero, no idea why god choose me always to start again from zero, I don't know when my time will come, well life  us to say don't worry time will call and come. There is no substitute to hardwork, but apart from that you also need Lady Luck to smile at you.

Back again to starting from zero well going on well slowly building, getting clients again here in Dubai, well to be frank it has taken me back to 1994 when I use to stay alone in room cook and eat all alone just me and myself.

Well things have come back a full circle, staying all alone with me and myself, but still enjoying the loneliness and this loneliness is the strength that is keeping me alive with spirit to fight and come back just like they say phoenix raises from ash.

Well missing lot of things but these things are pushing me and making me more stronger, more than me more anxious of my son Naif becoming a Chartered Accountant I never waited for anything in life the way I am waiting for his result.

I would feel all my struggle reached a point and god rewarded me the day when I see him as Chartered Accountant and the CA sticker on his car.

Well lets wait and watch.

Dubai the land of struggle & dreams

 Hi life is good going on at least have my whole body in one piece, well got my residence visa of Dubai for 2 years, got a good swanky office in Latifa Towers Sheikh Zayed Road, at last got my Emirates ID and my bank account opened in CBD commercial Bank of Dubai.

Have decided that I need to settle in Dubai, well got partnership offer in a consulting firm which is 12 yrs old and always wanted to work with a woman of substance who has built this company centurion consulting, waited for 20 long years to work with her.

Have got good platform to showcase all the experience I have gained across the globe, well the intention for the first time in life is to make money, all these years I was just enjoying life but know have decided that earning money is more important as all happiness around you revolves on what you earn well I may be wrong but every one learns his own lessons from life.

The other reason why I have moved is to ensure that I make my son what I couldn't become Top Class Investment Banker, so by the time he completes his CA I would have built platform for my son to launch his life.

I want him to enjoy his life, I want to give all the happiness that I missed in life to him, but surprisingly blessed with a son who is like why spend lets save, never asked for anything, happy go lucky lad, I truly wish from my heart and pray that he should get the best in life and always happiness for him.

Nothing much to share just started new life again I think this will be my 5th rebirth, but well I don't mind starting again and again till I reach grave. there is a famous Persian proverb which says get up and get up no matter how many times you are stuck by lighting a point will come where lighting will get tired of striking you.

Just giving too much of Gyan well new journey new life will update soon.

When going gets tough the tough get going

 Been long time since I wrote, well lot of things happened in life both professionally and personally, these tough times have made me more stronger, I know life is reading my blogs well professionally got a new client and dream contract of 6 Million INR, travelling started globe trotting again.

Have landed in dream world Dubai, this is the first time in 20 years of my travel to dubai I have come on my own money well the idea is to stay here and start encashing my knowledge in International market, its been high time had to take the decision to move here, and due to prayers of life here also got a good platform got office in latifa towers sheikh zayed road, getting my legal formalities done which I think should be over by coming week and I will be entering the market.

Positioning myself as Business analyst and investment banker, lets see how things shape from next week onwards, hoping things will change for better as they have been changing every since the journey started.

Personally things have changed kids are grown up happy that they have decided early as what they need to be in life, son is getting ready to step in to my shoes love to see him one day as investment banker, daughter is doing good in engineering and have chartered there destinations.

Son is working just like me started his own earnings at tender age and he is preparing for 12th std I want him to be CA and then become investment banker, I have been training him with all my knowledge and happy to see him grow.

Younger daughter is still in school but very very witty with her humour and very creative.

Things are hard at present but every day I am moving step by step, well coming week will have lots in store as will start moving into market

will keep posted

Life has changed thrown to the lowest, but still standing like rock

 Its been almost a year got no clue how this one year passed, lot of turbulent times were faced and still facing, this situation has made me more stronger and resilient also learnt a lot as how to live when you have nothing in hand, today I understand the message which I had received 15 years ago which read, success of person depends on the way how he handles when he has nothing in hand and the way he handles when he has everything in hand.

lot of tough times but still 5N has survived, its not closed yes not earning as the way it use to happen and the dividends given to investors has stopped, but I am not running away, my past record and transparency I maintained when things were good has given me the face to handle all these problems.

Well no point in just writing about all the problems and troubles, in these times good things happened Daughter got Engineering seat in Government quota so didn't have to pay any donation, then one more thing happened Son cleared his 10th and he is interning with MOJ associates chartered accountants, he broke all the records, I got job when I was 19 years 4 months, but he got it at 16years happy for him, he wants to be Investment Banker, felt so glad that what I wanted to be my son wants to be that.

I am training him and giving him all the guidance he needs and best part is he has cleared his 1st year PUC with 72% boy who couldn't write answers to questions till 9th std scored this, he has become independent he paid his own fees from his earning, he bought his own smart phone and now saving to buy his bike.

He passing out was one more feather in my cap as I taught him and he cleared with his hard work, he is high in time sense nearly 10 times more than me, always planning to core details, got good observation skills which is essential for success.

Got new contract from January 2022 which is giving me the strength to come back, got back to Dubai for setting up clients unit, also got new clients from Dubai and also got one consulting opportunity, but problem is there is no timely payments from client. 

Atlast my dream of earning 32,500AED has come true its only matter of time I will be back to normalcy as have delivered revenue for the client and I am well on time.

Only dream left is ensuring my son gets 85% in 2nd puc and goes no to become investment banker I am going to give all my experience and life to ensure my son become investment banker. Then next is to ensure I clear all investments and be back to normalcy.

In these turbulent times 5N withstood test of time, got one more good news got my new matchbook air M1 and with 2  iPhone 13 Mini so I am back to get started, next step is to ensure 5n goes to Dubai. well lets see what happens and what not, but belief in Allah he will ensure back to glory days